Abstaining from sex before marriage might not be the easiest thing to do, but XXX Church believes it's wise for Christians to zip up their pants before tying the knot.
Writing on the website of the online ministry dedicated to helping people with porn and sex addictions, Pastor Carl Thomas said he himself lost his virginity prior to marriage. He now wishes he hadn't because that would have spared him from some hard life lessons.
"I know that's hard to hear when you are a 17-year-old boy who gets a boner whenever the wind blows, but it's true. Sex is not about the here and now, and the reasons NOT to have sex before you get married aren't either," he said.
Thomas then gave three important and practical reasons why Christians should practice restraint when it comes to sex. First, it would keep Christian relationships simpler and easier to evaluate.
Thomas explained that it is harder to recognise a broken relationship when people are enjoying "hot sex," and it might be the only thing keeping people together. "Want to know if the relationship you have is actually worth having or continuing? Try not having sex and see if you still want to be around the person," he suggested.
It does not matter if the "food quality" is way better in an a la carte restaurant, because Thomas said buffet people have already convinced themselves that having a large variety will always be best. Next, Thomas said it's difficult going "a la carte" when people have already gotten used to a buffet. "Let's be honest: if you are used to having sex with whomever and have 'sampled all the varieties,' then monogamous sex with one partner may be a hard pill to swallow," he said.
Lastly, Thomas said sexual history is something that both husbands and wives must deal with together. It's hard for couples not to feel insecure about their husbands or wives' former flames, and this would negatively impact the relationship.
"A relationship that is threatened by comparisons is one that lacks security, and security is super important in the bedroom," he said.
So yes, it might sometimes be hard to swallow the Biblical reasons for abstaining from sex. But Thomas wants Christians to realise that God has imposed these rules not to rob people of pleasure, but because His design for sex is meant to give people the best.
Meanwhile, Shellie R. Warren also tackled this topic earlier and said that sex can actually make people love those they don't even like, so it can be a dangerous medium in relationships.
A lot of people have unfortunately mistaken the physicality of their relationship as a real connection, so their judgments are clouded when it comes to the long-term goals of a relationship.
"When you're dating someone and you hear in your head 'You need to know if she is going to able to please you before you commit to them,' that is not God talking," Warren warned. "That is Satan trying to infiltrate your relationship by making it be about sex more than spirituality so that after marriage, sex and spirituality both become really difficult to master.
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