Money worries upset more married couples than porn or adultery

Money worries are the top strain on couples, a major new survey has revealed, with over a quarter saying it was the factor that damaged their relationship most. The data portrayed a largely positive of picture of British relationships with three-quarters of couples saying they are satisfied and 57 per cent saying they were 'completely' or 'almost completely' rewarding.

Compiled by Marriage Care alongside Relate and Relationships Scotland, the report is one of the largest studies of relationships in the UK with more than 5,000 people interviewed.

It Takes Two highlights financial pressures as the biggest concern with 26 per cent of couples saying it was their primary worry above 'not understanding each other' (20 per cent), 'differing sex drives' (19 per cent) and 'lack of work-life balance' (17 per cent).

Accessing pornography was the top concern for just two per cent of couples and extra-marital affairs also come in relatively low with nine per cent of couples listing it their major strain.

When asked, 93% of relationship support practitioners (like counsellors and sex therapists) said that spending dedicated time together, such as a date night or taking part in an activity, is important for the relationship.Relate counsellor Arabella Russell said: 'Despite the promise of economic recovery, money worries are still placing a significant strain on our relationships. We see in the counselling room every day how much conflict money can cause in relationships, so knowing how to manage your finances together is important for heading off arguments before they begin.'

Jenny Porter, a director at Marriage Care, said it was 'unsurprising' financial strains were the top worry as money affected many areas of life.

'Usually when couples argue over money, it is because both individuals have very different spending habits,' she said. 'For example, one person may be more risk-averse and want to put more money away for retirement, while the other person may be more focused on spending for today.

'Although many couples find it awkward to talk about finances, it is essential to talk things through together to ensure both partners are on the same wavelength and to prevent problems from escalating.'

Despite warnings of escalating divorce rates and relationship breakdown the study found relationships were largely in good health with over half saying they never or rarely argued with their partner and nearly four-in-five saying they felt happy in their relationship recently.

The charities called on the government to step up support for relationship support and stressed people with better quality relationships were more likely to feel good about themselves and less likely to feel lonely, depressed or hopeless.

They also called on the government's Family Test, introduced under former Prime Minister David Cameron, to be given statutory footing. The check means that any new policy or scheme must be tested specifically for how it will positively or negatively affect families.

But the charities say take up in Whitehall has been 'patchy' with 'limited commitment'.

The report read: 'This initiative has been an important step forward for more joined-up, family-friendly policy, ensuring that potential impacts of policies on relationships are made explicit and recognised.'