19 Things You’ve Been Doing Wrong Your Whole Life

Stop right there! You are about to do something and chances are you are doing it wrong.

Don’t even dare to step out of the house before finishing this article. Reading about the 19 things you’ve been doing wrong your whole life might spare you the misery of offering your friends and co-workers a good laugh.

Say hello to insecurities and anxiety! From breathing to making love, everything in your life has been a lie. They don’t make textbooks but they should, just for people like you.

Send logic on vacation before reading this because what you will find out will take you out of your socks!

1. Peeling A Banana

A banana is the most innocent meal one can have.

However, the majority of people have been peeling it wrong the entire time. Blame popular culture or the instincts our primitive ancestors passed down to us.

Contrary to the established norm, it’s always easier to start with the stem. That way you don’t risk ruining the fruit’s perfect shape. No one wants to eat the yellow stuff when it’s all mushed and pointing down.

Enforcing the correct way to eat a banana might be the biggest challenge our society faced so far. Even those that know the awful truth are too afraid to go rogue in public. The reason?

Let’s just say that many dirty minds associate the banana with something else. Being different than the rest has the potential to send a compromising message.

Do you call yourself smart? Wait until you discover why people were always laughing at you and your soda.

2. Drinking Soda With A Straw

You went to school for nothing!

Chances you have no clue to why soda aluminium cans have a hole chopped in them, while beer containers don’t. Well, that orifice is not for looks. The scope of the opening is to keep your straw afloat inside the can.

As simple as it might appear, drinking Coca-Cola, Pepsi, or any other beverage gets messy from time to time. Someone thought it through and came up with an ingenious solution.

The mistake is so common it will shock you. Most commercials don’t even bother to stay politically correct. Going with the flow is dangerous and all those white shirts ruined by diet coke can testify.

We share with you the next life hack, but it might have awful effects once you put in practice.

3. Using The Office Elevator

The elevator – you’ve been using it wrong all this time!

Last time we checked the metal enclosure taking you from one level to another is the perfect set for workplace drama. Promotions, pay cuts, and even inappropriate sexy time, all exploited the small and cozy space offered by the elevator.

However, those using it for something other than transportation knew an essential trick. Pressing your floor button and the “close doors” button at the same time will give you an express ride that doesn’t have to stop for anyone.

You wish you knew about this went that boss of yours fired you for not bringing his coffee in time. And the fun part about exploiting the elevators is that no one can finger you for it. You can always blame faulty electronics.

Even the simplest form of cooking was too much for you! Check out exactly what you did wrong so many times.

4. Making A Sandwich

“Kitchen for Bachelors 101” needs an update.

When is the last time you questioned the quality of your sandwiches? Let’s be honest! No one takes the arduous road of rethinking what mom once put in the lunchbox.

Do you like geometry? We don’t, but you will need it to understand a simple concept. Fitting a circle inside a rectangle will leave empty corners.

In culinary language, you will never have enough ham in the corners of your sandwich. No one likes simple bread, and that’s exactly what fueled the breakthrough.

If Leonardo Da Vinci was alive today, he would hate the man that put geometry to work in such an elegant fashion. Not all heroes wear a cape!

Prepare to have a revelation. Ever wondered why that kid always beat you at Rock Paper Scissors?

5. Playing Rock Paper Scissors

Rock Paper Scissors was the game that taught you all about being an adult – being the one that lies better.

As simple as it might appear, the game challenged the most brilliant minds of our generation. Scientists discovered a strategy that can improve your victory rate. All you need to do is play what your opponent played last time.

We know! It sounds cheap and easy to counteract. However, this is excellent to frustrate gamers who keep their choice on consecutive turns.

Did it blow your mind? Don’t keep it for yourself! Go outside and challenge the neighborhood kids to a showdown. Quench your thirst with their tears of despair and take the crown. It doesn’t matter if you do this three decades too late.

Some people don’t have a good grasp of the word “limit.” Check and see if you are one of them!

6. Applying Perfume

Admit it! You applied perfume wrong at least once.

The most common mistake a novice does is to put too much on. The scene where girls bath into a haze of subtle essences is deplorable. What they achieve is waste the perfume and turn the bathroom’s atmosphere toxic.

Take a look at the pic below. Success relies on the simplest of rules – Divide and Conquer. Applying perfume at various parts of the body is a more subtle and efficient method of keeping it fresh all day long.

Don’t forget that using the same fragrance over and over again will make your nose unable to detect when you crossed the line. What is barely there can make all the others hate you.

Did nothing touch you so far? We’ll speak after you read what’s next. Everyone does it wrong!

7. Tooth Brushing

What can go wrong with something as simple as brushing your teeth? Everything!

Let’s start by saying that you could end up grieving lost teeth before the age of 40. Yep, brushing too often and at a high intensity can strip the protective layer off your denture and expose it to the elements.

We all have that one friend that replaces the ordinary toothbrush with some heavy-duty machinery more suited for DIY. When oral hygiene ceases to be a good habit and becomes a religion, you know things will turn bad.

As for the right way to do it, it involves less pressure that you would expect. It’s all in the moves that allow the hairs to reach the shadiest corners of your mouth.

Trust us when we tell you there an entire encyclopedia of things you should know before ever getting that brush near your mouth.

We are the worst! Not even the basic of actions escapes our critical eyes. The next one will trigger an OCD episode on you!

8. Getting A Tic Tac

Admit it! You sweat each time your partner suggests you should take a Tic Tac.

But that doesn’t happen because of your poor oral hygiene. We’ve all been there, and the struggle is real! Who wants to end up with more than one Tic Tac?

Last time we checked those sugary treats of Satan had two calories each, quite substantial if you feed on them like crazy.

The trick is simple, and all you have to do is follow the logic of those who designed the small container. The photo below speaks for itself.

Opening the small door in a horizontal position will always produce one mint. Amazing, right?

Need to go to the toilet? Read and weep. Don’t forget to wipe!

9. Pooping

Pooping might seem the simplest and most repetitive action, yet everyone does it completely wrong.

We hate getting into nasty details, but it appears that the lower intestines work better when the body assumes a squatting position. Pooping seated ranges from being considered unnecessary to completely unhealthy.

Don’t laugh next time you go on a holiday and end up contemplating a Turkish toilet. Those people were smart enough not to fall into the trap of modern contraptions.

Although highly uncomfortable that’s the way humans have been pooping for millions of years. How to say this to be mild? Our society is going in the wrong direction and its starts with the simplest things we do wrong.

Did fake money bring you in jail? You did something wrong, and we will break it to you in detail.

10. Playing Monopoly

Monopoly has been the cornerstone of every family feud.

Do you remember all those discussions about the rules of the game? The ones conceiving the game were sneaky enough to make the regulations open to various interpretations.

The most common rule most people ignored while playing Monopoly was to auction properties buyers could not acquire after landing on them. Another limiting belief was that staying in jail was bad.

While you will never have Trump to whisper in your ear to buy Boardwalk, you might consider reading the instructions twice. Monopoly never had real money in it (contrary to the urban legend), but it taught valuable lessons on investments and how the economy works.

The next trick will save you tons of cash or turn you into a hipster. Be careful

11. Buying Razor Blades

Don’t you hate it when it happens? Most men will be shocked to know that they bought razors for nothing.

Read this while it still lasts! The mounting pressure coming from companies like Gillette will most likely push our hand.

There is no need to buy razor blades, and the reason is simple. No, we don’t urge you to become a hipster and embrace a full beard. Instead, you might want to check out the next neat trick.

Take a dull razor and run it across an old pair of jeans. Repeat the process until you feel like the blades regained their initial potency. Problem solved, and it costs you nothing!

Continuing to waste your wallet on new razors means that you take pride in doing things wrong.

Nothing will be the same once you finish reading the list. Almost everything you do on a daily basis is wrong. Take paper and pen and try to get your act straight!

12. Eating Apples

Even eating the apples holds a dark secret that might ruin your confidence.

You’ve been eating Eve’s fruit wrong the whole time. Wanna know the awful truth? Eating an apple sideways wastes about 30% of the total potential. We all stop when we reach the center.

It’s like an invisible voice telling us that the part where the apple stores its seeds is poisoned. Take a look at the pic bellow. The correct way to exploit the fruit is by biting from the top after you have removed the stem.

We do warn you. This method will alter your friends and colleagues perception of you. The sad bit is that eating an apple properly will label you as a Neanderthal that pays no respect to etiquette.

Women have been struggling with it for millions of years, and we are still not sure about the best method.

13. Having Babies

Don’t let the photo fool you!

Humans did not reproduce the wrong way all this time. Although men delivering babies might be a disturbing peek into the future of science, we are still far from that moment.

Instead, we would like to focus on the position considered normal for a healthy delivery. Some recent studies showed that a woman sitting on her back with her legs wide open is far from being optimal for both the newborn and the mother.

Modern maternities encourage women to wander around the room and test various positions during the advanced phase of contractions. Each woman has a different anatomy and chances are sticking with tradition might be wrong.

Everyone is telling you to do it, and you end up hurting yourself! What could it be?

14. Bathing

There is a narrow line separating over-bathing from killing others with your bad odour.

Let’s focus on the upper side of the spectrum – people that exaggerate with hygiene. We can only pray this is not the first time you heard about the dangers of saturating your skin with soaps and body creams.

As harsh as it might sound, we are animals, and we need a layer of “dirt” on us to allow the skin to function normally. Take that person preaching about opening your pores and slam Darwin’s “Origin of Species” in its face.

Our modern obsession with staying clean puts the skin to incredible stress and triggers anything from premature aging to cancer. Forget about that daily shower first enforced on you by your parents!

College students do nothing right! Unbelievable!

15. Microwaving Leftovers

College would have much pleasant if you knew the right way to microwave leftovers.

It’s not about the times when you stuck dangerous stuff inside for fun. We are strictly referring to your lack of knowledge on how radiation works to heat things up.

Take a look at the photo below. It might not seem appealing to have an empty spot in the middle of the plate, but that exact gap allows heat to travel trough uniformly, bringing your pathetic lunch to a suitable temperature.

It’s basic physics here, and you won’t hear this trick from Gordon Ramsey. Just joking! Don’t even think about admitting you don’t cook fresh meals each day.

Cooking will never appear the same once you read the next thing you did wrong your entire life.

16. Peeling Potatoes

Peeling potatoes for that family reunion is a recurring theme in the nightmares of a common household wife.

Yep, it’s not fun digging through all that dirt just to reveal the sweet stuff. If only were a method to get rid of all that “fun?”

You will be surprised to know it is and that you have been doing everything wrong the whole time. Just take the unpeeled potatoes and boil them for a couple of minutes. A rapid transition to cold water strips the skin away faster than an entire battalion of army recruits.

This is one trick that can make you look like a magician to everyone previously denying your cooking skills. Keep the method ambiguous for maximum effect.

Do you think you know everything about technology and gadgets? Guess again!

17. Using Earphones

The music on your phone will sound much better once you know the correct way to use earphones.

Trust us when we tell you that you are using them wrong. Don’t be silly! It doesn’t matter if you switch right with left (although migrating germs from one ear to another doesn’t count as cool).

The problem with most people is that they don’t take the time to figure out why the headphones keep falling off. The solution is simple. Take the small cables over your years, and that will secure them in place.

This is simple enough to make you change your mind. Why buy an expensive pair that has better ear support? We can only hope the disclosure ended the ordeal for you.

Go ahead and preach this secret life hack to all your friends. They will worship you like a God.

What can be wrong in eating dessert? Yes, we know! We are heartless bastards for ruining it for you.

18. Eating A Cupcake

We all love cupcakes and eating them can soothe the soul.

The only sad part about eating cupcakes is that few know how to eat them properly. The man that invented the delicious desert has a rough time looking at the debauchery.

Enlighting people about the things they do wrong is hard. Someone took the time to create straightforward instructions on how to eat a cupcake correctly. The photo below speaks for itself.

Although it might seem savage, the cupcakes feel no pain when you rip them open.

The last on the list is breathtaking, and you have been doing it wrong since birth. Astonishing!

19. Breathing

Remain calm! Although you’ve been doing it wrong probably from birth, there is still time to change.

If you are not a Yoga guru, you can count yourself amongst the billions of people that breath the wrong way. The process should start from as low as the abdomen and make use of the muscles found in that part of the body.

What everyone does is give breathing a more superficial form. Inhaling and exhaling is typically restricted to the thoracic cage.

We know many smart guys that would rush to remind us where the lungs are. Noted. However, it’s all about the muscles that get contracted.

Deep abdominal breathing relaxes the body and promotes well-being. Too bad you are doing it wrong most of the time!