CONFUSED
Compliments of the season, please pardon me ,i have been battling with this for a long time,each time i type a mail i end up deleting it,and people keep telling me to pray,i have prayed i have cried,i really need your advice and that of my fellow Blog Visitor's please be kind with your words and please hide my ID.
I am a 29year old lady turning 30 in 6 months ,i am currently in two relationships,let me call the first Mr C not real name and second guy Mr B, i met Mr C back in university he has always liked me and calls me his wife but i kept him as a good friend so i had nothing or any form of relationship with him but people around us felt we were dating due to what he's been telling them:
I then met a guy after UNI when i was living with my cousin,i was always bored all i do is stay home and care for his kids so because of that i decided to date the guy in 2013 ,the guy was rude and pompous,every time we are together all he talks about was sex and then i wasn't ready to sleep with someone without any form of commitment and he says he cant commit to someone he hasn't had sex with so i broke it off and decided to finally give MR C a chance,i wasn't in love with him i just felt he is someone i have known for so long and his been patient with me,he is wonderful guy,loves me,never cheated,he cares ,he is someone i trust,met with his family both extended ,i know his friends ,every time they will be asking us when we are getting married,he is proud of me,he pampers me and defends me but the problem is he still lives in the family house,the mom always complaining to people that i don't clean her room,help in the kitchen ,help her wash her clothes and so on,his friends thinks am too sophisticated for him:
His place is a small one bedroom flat without kitchen so i will have to share kitchen with his mom and elder sister,he is not doing anything big right now,he says there is somewhere he is managing per job and he gets 50k as salary but he says he is also into contracts and so on,am working and earn ok for myself,he pays his mom 20k ,i have not gotten any financial support from him,i depend solely on my salary or money i get from guys sometimes,i can get maybe 10k from him in a year that is only during the xmas season, each time i ask he will say i don't have,now he wants marriage this year, but am scared,how do i cope with family pressure ,financial pressure,cause i still support my dad financially as my mom is late and am an only girl.
he doesn't want to move out of there he says till he builds his own house and i don't know when that will be,i am scared of family house and his people are always demanding,he feels contented ,he says he doesnt want to work under anybody,am not sure he is searching for a job,he says he has money to take care of me and he is not complaining and so on,our sex life too is boring.
so last year i met someone where i work,he is everything a girl wants,sexually,financially not buoyant but not stingy,he was the first person that actually shown me what dating means,i thought our relationship will be something that will die down with time cause i wasn't really into him at first i was just enjoying all the support,love ,gifts and time with him,he has helped me alot,i thought he was just doing all those things because he wants to sleep with and everything will change after sex but nothing changed.
he is still that guy i met,he lives on his own and i wanted a private relationship cause we work in same compound different company and the other guy leaves in same town too,i demanded for no family no friends relationship but just us and he accepted ,i have the key to his apartment,i visit frequently i spend days with him in doors maybe go see movies,i changed with time from the night crawler and party freak i used to be to this calm girl that enjoys spending time inside with her man,suddenly i stopped having friends he became my friend and partner,i have access to his account but i don't snoop,he has thought me how to pray cause he is a church guy,sex is great,morning prayers,night and before we eat,i never knew i was going to fall in love with him this much believe me,i only wanted a support and someone that i can support me,someone we can hangout and be together without marriage talks coming up,private life,someone i can go over to his place and stay without family waking me up or complaining how lazy i am,i am not lazy i just enjoy doing things at my own time,i hate waking up early,i love cooking.
He is just too innocent,you cant forgive yourself if you hurt him,he has done no wrong,each time i try cutting it off because i want to get married i end up with this chill in my heart cause he is someone i love,the only problem we have is i have not met his parents or sisters,he keep saying with time,i should have patience with him,sometimes he will ask me if i like surprises and so on,last month we ran into his elder brother,he took me to their family church then i saw some of his siblings they actually saw he came with a lady to church but he didn't introduce me to them inside the church cause we left early with one of his sister,it was inside the car that he told her i am his wife to be.
I spoke with him last week trying to know his plans and he said
'1' to get a landed property,like buy a land, 2. to settle down with me, i told him i want to meet his folks he said ok he will make arrangement,he is working and earn more than me,i love him and this is affecting my relationship with MR C,he complains i don't get to see him anymore,i have changed and he wants to breakup with me,i understand his anger,he has really been patient with me,we hardly see cause i spend more time with MR B, now MR C wants me to makeup my mind this month so he can come meet my people but am scared i don't feel anything again for him and am more scared i cant cope with family house also i don't want to let go,what if MR B doesn't marry me or his family doesn't accept me where will I then start from at my age,should i settle with MY C because am not sure of MR B, is marriage about settling or being with someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with,people around me think am just settling because of age and am scared i wont find someone else and not because i love him,do you think with time i will make him change his mind on leaving family house,can i cope,will i also support his mother or will i start cook for all with my own income and keep praying for GOD to give him a good job,should i take this risk and let him go instead of hurting him,should i just let go or MR B instead?
please help, i don't know what to do i have lost some weight due to thinking.i can send you pictures of both guys on whatsAPP for your eyes only please.
Culled Story.
Please lets discuss this and chip in our advice for her in the comments section.
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